Changes on the Horizon

Changes are on the horizon!  We have been living in Durango for nearly three years.  Durango is a good place.  However, it has just never fit me, or I have never fit it.  I don't know which one, but simply put, it has never felt like home.  Fortunately, home for me, is only 17 miles down the road.  We have been searching and searching for a home there, that could get our children back in to their small town schools and get us back near our home church.  We like the community feel there and can't wait to get back.  God threw us for a loop when the home we found, in what seemed like perfect timing, got swept out from under us.  We had verbally committed to it, thought it was perfect and a day later the owner called us to inform us he had decided to sell it someone else.  We.were.crushed.  But I knew, and I said it then, God must have something better for us.  And that HE did!  Wow!!!  I have had to pinch myself.  We are a little ways from closing, so I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch.  However, I am screaming inside with excitement.  And now I trust, if for some unforeseen reason, this does not go through, God has something else in mind.  Hawaii?  Africa?  Bali?  Perhaps not yet….

The kids are doing great.  Tyler is rocking his first year in college.  It has been an adjustment, but we have done well.  He was home for a month over Christmas and we were all thrilled to have him back.  It has been so much fun watching God work in his life.  He is teaching him things, showing him things and guiding him, and I can see it so much clearer from a distance.

Zoe is doing great.  She is cruising right along and having a good year.  She is officially a "tween," and let's just say, teen years better not get any more crazy.  Poor girls and their emotions!  I have been there, I still remember it, and I can't help but feel for her.  I am so excited to get more involved in the school next year with some great "confidence building for girls ideas" up my sleeve.

Rance is the perfect little student.  He loves school, thrives in the environment and still melts my heart as one of the world's sweetest sons.  The other day, I was diving down the driveway to pick him up from the bus stop.  I noticed him swoop down and pick something up when he saw me.  I approached, he hopped in my car and I asked him how his day was.  He replied, "Good!  I got something for you," as he handed me a sparkly rock.  (The rock he just picked up.)  Hysterical yes, but gestures like this speak of his heart.  He is a lover.  He loves to please and he thrives on giving of himself.  How blessed am I?

Trigg and Ivor continue to make huge strides.  They are doing speech therapy and coming along well.  They are growing like weeds and continue to evolve before our eyes.  Ivor struggles a little bit with insecurities.  He is afraid of the most unexpected things.  For instance, he does not like the moon, or even the book "Goodnight Moon."  He will not look at books are pictures of bugs.  He won't be in a room alone.  Neglect and abandonment leave deep scars, but nothing to deep for God to heal.  We can't believe how far they boys have come and are so blessed to have them here where we can watch them continue to heal.  We know because of the Bible that we live with the expectation of total healing.  What a relief.

Trigg has a surgery in three weeks to release a tethered cord in his spine.  We are praying for no setbacks in his emotional health, as well as a safe and successful surgery.  Please join us.

Many Blessings.

Trigg is so sweet!

Ivor smiles most of the time.

Tyler volunteered in Rance's classroom while he was here.

Zoe with the root beer floats on her birthday

35

November is a happenin' month!  Phew!  I turned 35, we spent 8 days at Children's Hospital running tests, Tyler turned 19, it's National Adoption Month, Thanksgiving of course, (and we are hosting it), husband has been working out of town; and we just learned we have a surgery to schedule.  You may ask why I choose now to catch up the blog…well because it's time.  It's time to stop and reflect.

I read a great book this month, written by excellent fellow blogger, Jen Hatmaker.  Seven. Read it, it will change your life.  Seven has reminded me to stop and reflect.  It has reminded me we all have the same amount of time in the day, what we do with it is up to us.  I won't go into the details of Seven, I hope to leave you curious enough to grab a copy and read it yourself.

Turning 35 was freaking me out just a bit, I will admit.  God place Seven in my hands at just the right time. Jen Hatmaker opens with "I am only 35…" Only.  Nice.  It's easy to "age" myself when I have a 19 year old.  The truth is, age is just a number.  Each day is a gift and we can open it, appreciate it and use it for His glory or we can stress that yesterday is gone.

We learned in Trigg's gamut of tests, he has a tethered cord in his spine.  We thought surgeries were behind him but we were reminded that it is not a predictable thing, ever.  I have learned with my little guys born with birth defects, one birth defect can often mean several.  This is more reason to be grateful God brought them to a place where they can get the services they need.  We are hopeful we an put this surgery off till January.

For the first time-EVER Tyler turned one year older without getting a big squeeze from his mama.  I can assure you this bothered his mama more than it bothered him.  He has a sweet new friend, who was careful to make it special.  I appreciate her for that.  

Crossroads

As Rance learns his letters in Kindergarten, and Zoe learns how to navigate 5th grade and all the social weirdness, Tyler learns what it's like to be on his own.  I am sure there are days Tyler wishes he could go back to Kindergarten where memorizing what "J" says is his biggest problem.  Trigg and Ivor are usually just along for the ride, although becoming potty trained was a big highlight last month.  Things are going good with all 5 kiddos, and as they should.

However, Mom and Dad are at a crossroads.  Where do we want to live?  What school do we want our kids to attend?  What are our priorities?  Unfortunately, the husband and I don't have the same ideas.  I am of the mindset: Who would want to live in the same area their whole lives?  There is a whole world to experience!  Just because we are born here, does not mean we have to stay!  In my head, there are no limits, no boundaries!  I would LOVE to be a full time missionary!

Husband's mindset:  This is where we are "from."  We have roots here.  Our family business is here.  We can travel to all those other places.  I want to live right here, the rest of my life!

God's got this.

All Aboard! Trigg and Ivor Turn Three!

The summer flew by and before I knew it, it was fall and a big birthday was creeping up on me.  We got Tyler moved to Colorado Springs.  Ivor's annual cleft appointment has been marked of the to-do list, our China travel group reunion has passed and things just don't quit going full steam ahead.  Welcome to a busy life, with 5 kids!  We would not have it any other way and I am glad we spend our time "living."

The twins' speech therapist introduced them to trains.  Around here, we don't seem to expose our kids to anything but animals, and as it turns out, we have a couple of little engineers!  They love trains, so this years theme was chosen by the little boogers themselves.

Trigg and Ivor

The Candy Train

Trigg trying out his new wheels! 

Ivor gettin' it!

They have a little buddy, also from China, that paid us a visit on the "real birthday."  James is a cutie and we are so glad his parents went to China and got him.  We can't imagine our lives without his cuteness!

Trigg, James and Ivor

On the boys' birthdays, I think about the family that gave them up, so they could get the help they needed.  I think about the mother, who must have felt so desperate and scared when she realized what needed to happen.  I think about the lady who "found them" and how her heart must have hurt to come upon such a discovery.  But then, I think about the God that created them, loves them more than any of us here on earth ever could, and who brought them back together so could grow and flourish together.

I am so blessed to call myself their mom.  I am so blessed to have the opportunity to watch them grow into amazing men and play out the life God has planned for them.  I pray that their biological family will have peace, peace only the Lord himself can provide that they not only "survived," they are THRIVING and are so, so very loved.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRIGG CODY AND IVOR JUDE!

Blessings,

Letting Go

Ty

The count down is on. My first born child will graduate in less than two weeks, and it is filling me with grief.  This is supposed to be a happy thing.  I am happy for him. I am so proud of him. I am excited for him beyond belief. I am so sad for me. I am bathing in self pity, and trying to hide it. I am losing one of my best friends. The best big brother, EVER is leaving the nest. I realize he is still my son, and the big brother, but after he leaves, it will never be the same. Our routines as a family will be forever changed. All my children will not be under the same roof anymore. I am not going to lie...I kind wish we could just all pick up and follow him!

By now you are thinking I am one of those over protective, over bearing, overly involved mothers. Maybe I am...but let me explain.

I had Tyler shortly after my 16th birthday. When I first held him, it was a feeling I will never forget. I had been so alone in the world. And then there was this child, this perfect, adorable, sweet child, and he was mine. He wasn't going to judge me, he wasn't going to talk behind my back. He needed me, and I needed him.

People warned me. "Oh just wait! Wait till he is two and he is in to everything." Or, "wait till he talks back." Or my favorite, "wait till he is an awful teenager, drinking and partying and you are out all night looking for him."  Well, these things never did happen.

At two, I could take him to a 2 hour high school play and he would sit and watch quietly. He never did get "into everything." I can honestly say, he is not one to talk back, never has been.  Most importantly, he has never been to a party, never wanted to. He hasn't had a desire to drink or experiment much. He has been hard working, honest, and simply pleasant to raise. There is not a fiber in my being that wants this journey to be over.  He has been a part of me for as long as I can remember, and that part of me is relocating.  Ugh.

I want to rewind, start all over.  Turn back time.  Reverse.  Relive.  Redo.  But that is not possible.  We can't go back, we can only go forward.  We have made incredible memories.  We have a bond that can never be broken.  These are things I need to hold close, keep tucked away, be thankful for.  He has been the best son a parent could ask for and he will continue to be, it will just be different.  Our roles may change a bit but our love for one another will not.  I need to remember this as he receives his diploma and I can hardly see through the tears.  I need to remember this when we drive off and leave him in a new city, in a new chapter.

This is the way God intends.  He does not entrust us with His children to keep forever, tight by our side, protected under our wing.  No.  He wants us to prepare them for the world.  He wants us to teach them truth, make them honest, guide them.  We have done that.  Now we need to trust Him and let go...

No one ever said it would be easy.

Blessings,

We GOTCHA! (One year ago today)

Oh how fast it has gone!  Amazing to look back at the little guys that were placed in our arms 365 days ago.  They were scared.  We were scared.  They were confused.  We were nervous.  They had a past we did not fully understand.  We were about to take them to a land they did not know existed.  There were many discoveries and milestones made over the last year.

Perhaps most important, we have seen God's faithfulness.  He has shown us how He will never leave us in a storm.  He has given me even more of a desire to love the orphans of the world. I know He will continue to lead me to them.

My friend, Faith said it so well.  She said, "There is something that is so unexplainable joyous when our children come to us through adoption.  It really is something you can only understand completely if you have experienced it.  Giving birth to our biological children is such a magical miracle and we know they are a part of us.  Adoption is like finding a missing piece of your heart."  Well said, Faith.

I knew since I was a child I wanted to adopt.  People have asked me, "Why?"  I say, "Why not?"  Sure it's expensive.  Sure, they will take a lot of your time.  Sure, you don't know what you are getting.  I get that.  I understand all that.  But what about the fact that our time is not our time?  Our money is not our money?  We only woke up today, because God has work for us to do.  We are breathing right now because He has more planned for us, here.  Now.  Today.  So what is it?  Maybe you are not "called" to adopt.  Maybe He has other ways in mind for you to advance His kingdom.  Ask Him.  Once you do, you will feel driven, unstoppable, and blessed.  It's true, when we bless others, it is we who are blessed as well.  Let Him use you.  HE WILL.

When you look at me and my boatload...please know, I am not perfect.  I am not special.  I don't have a gift.  I have just answered to a call.  I know He has more for me to do, and I am trying to figure out what that is.  It is a constant mission.  There are days when I ask myself what I have gotten myself into.  Days when my house looks like a bomb went off, I have a huge list of things to do that I don't know how I am going to do it, days when I feel like I have yelled to much and hugged too little.  But He always gets me through them.  At the end of the day when my littles are all tucked in bed and resting so peacefully, He always sets me strait.  This is not about me, or my house, or my to-do list.  This thing we call life is about Him.  Fortunately, He wants the best for me, and you, (and the orphans) of the world.  Every.Single.Soul.

Ask, Seek, Knock.

Last night we took the kids out to celebrate one year as a forever family.  We ate Sushi at the "Rice Monkey." (I love that name, it just makes me smile.)  Then, we took the kids to "Top That," to load up their frozen yogurt with any toppings they wanted.  Trigg and Ivor's eyes just gleamed.  They knew something was up.  It was a great time and we are looking forward to another wonderful year as a family of 7!

Blessings to you,

Misty

Turning the Pages

Sometimes I feel like my life is a story and we are just turning the pages, one by one. We are never sure what is on the next page. Sometimes it's predictable and sometimes we never saw it coming. This last week, they were flipping rather fast and we experienced a little of both.

We went to Colorado Springs, where our oldest plans on attending college in the fall. I would like him to get more familiar with the city, we needed to get away, as well as he was hunting for a reliable vehicle. We accomplished all three. He drove home in a fun little car and his excitement was enough to warm my heart for a long time. The last two years he has driven a 1984 Toyota 4-Runner that has seen its better days. I was so glad he went through that "initiation" as it made the moment that much more special. There was true and genuine appreciation. He was thrilled. He did the research, patiently did the shopping and learned a lot from the experience. I think when children are given to much to fast, we rob them of the potential for joy. He had to pay his fair share and the pride he is feeling is priceless.

We stayed in a great resort at a steeply discounted rate since the summer beauty has not yet graced us with its presence. It was still great and the kids enjoyed the beach near the lake and we had a great time in the pool.

We visited the zoo one day, which I must say is the best I have seen. The kids fed giraffes and birds. We watched elephants introduced to a pool for the first time and gawked at grizzlies playing with their toes in the water.

My dear friend Cindy, fellow adoptive mom, and sister in Christ lost her battle to cancer and Heaven got a whole lot sweeter. My heart aches for her young daughter who has just lost her second mother and has so much left to experience without her sweet mommy. It's so hard to understand why she was taken from us. Her cancer was detected in her medical examination she was having done in order to start the adoption process again. Just after we brought Trigg and Ivor home, she had informed us she had felt the pull to go get a son after watching our sweet boys bless our family. Her time was spent blessing others. She was generous, kind and loving. We will not understand till we meet again and until then she will be missed.

I ask that you remember Cindy's three daughters and husband in your prayers. Be grateful for each day He gives us and trust in Him with all your heart.

Blessings,

Misty