If I had three words to discribe the last week, it would be: Ups and downs.
The wait is getting harder, more emotional, more stressful. For some reason, my heart has felt so heavy. I kept checking Love Without Boundaries Facebook page to see if by chance they had uploaded our boys on there. Nothing. Occassionally, I would just whisper to God, asking Him for peace. Thursday afternoon rolled around and I was hard at work at my husband's office when my mom called. "Check facebook," she said. I knew she had spotted them. Hurriedly, I checked, and sure enough, there they were. My sweet little boys, half way around the world. But these pictures were different. Ivor Jude just looked so sad. Trigg Cody looked much thinner. Below the picture, the Love Without Boundaries volunteer had said that he lost 1.5 pounds this month after his final surgery. This meant for the first time, the brothers weighed the same. Ivor had gained the amount Trigg lost. Trigg also looked sad to me. My heart is breaking. I wonder, "Why must children go through surgeries and trials without a mommy to snuggle them when they are hurting?" I am so grateful they are where they are, I just wish they could be home, feeling a mother's love.
I headed home, still feeling down. As usual, I pulled over at the end of the driveway for Zoe to check the mail. She handed it to me and I started flipping through. There were two envelopes from immigration! I was elated! I tore into them, assuming they were the documents I had been waiting for. Without reading the small print I went into celebration mode. The kids and I were beyond excited. I announced the documents arrival to my mom, sisters, and of course, facebook.
Later that night, I read them, small print and all. As it turns out, they were the receipts, saying our I800 request had been recieved. Well, still good news, but not the approval I had assumed it was. I had felt so encouraged by God. I felt like He was saying, don't worry, it's closer than you think. I guess maybe He was. He was encouraging me, but He also continues to work on my patience and trust in Him, trust He has "got this." I need to trust in His timing. In the meantime, I will continue to pray.
If you are reading this and you feel so inclined, pray that Trigg Cody will be fully recovered soon, so he and Ivor Jude can be back together. Pray for God's timing in our adoption. And please, pray for peace for our family in this last leg of this journey.